Dylan Sorenson

Dylan spends his afternoons counting the leaves that flow down his local creek. While not spiritual for Dylan, it allows him to align all 3 of his nipples with his charging crystals, complimenting his silky smooth skin with smoother energy. As his crystals charge, you can find Dylan harnessing energy from the depths of Mustafar, where he was raised by wolves as a child. Dylan is a complex organism, having only 1 phytoplankton and few mitochondria, yet manages to function as a human adult. In fact, Dylan enjoys having eye sex with Mark Wahlberg on his free time. If Dylan had to describe himself in one word it would be “Animalistic In My Approach.”

EMAILS SUCK. OURS DON'T.

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