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The Fart Heard Round The World: An Interview With Paul Flart, Security Guard Turned Viral Sensation

August 24, 2018
WTF

The Legend of Paul Flart.

“I am no superhero. I cannot fart on command. I am just like everyone else.”

Doug, better known as Paul Flart, is immediately likable. His carefree humility is refreshing, he is not your typical stuck up influencer.  He is a flatuencer and I am immediately drawn to his cool laugh and “Hey Brother” attitude. Within five seconds I think this man could be anything: a hostage negotiator, a doctor, a Jonah Hill stunt double. But like most of life’s great treasures he is unexpectedly the Famous Security Guard who got fired for farting. Flart’s saga went largely unnoticed until Barstool, LAD Bible, NY Post and Vice all picked up his story.

“We never thought we’d go viral. A fat white dude farting on the internet? Come on.”

Is Paul Flart the hero America needs?

He is brave. He is kind. He is the hero we don’t deserve, but we all need.

So who is this man of mystery? We sat down with Flart himself to learn about the man behind that flatulent face.

Q: Tell us a little bit about Paul Flart.

A: Usually around town everyone calls me Doug. I’m working security at the hospital. And uhh i'm working at the front lobby. Which you know lobbies are big open spaces with lots of tile open area. And one day I had to let one rip. And I've never really been ashamed of my flatulence so I just let it go and was kind of blown away by the acoustics that this lobby held. I was really taken back.

The next time I had to do it I filmed myself letting it rip and sent it to my buddies in a group chat. They told me the world needed to see it.

We brainstormed for a while, came up with some names and between my mustache, the hair and the security job we came up with Paul Flart...after Paul Blart.

I tried to do one every day but I don’t fart on command. Like I said before, I don't have any kind of superpowers, I’m a normal human like everybody else.

Paul Flart hero Tweet

Q: Have you ever sharted in your pants, have you ever become Paul Shart?

A: Everyone asks how many times have you shit yourself and I can confidently say that’s never happened. So the joke is Paul Shart hasn’t been born yet.

Q: Do you think offices should be forced to have 2-ply toilet paper. Our office has recently become a savage 1-ply villain, and I’ve had to supply Charmin 2-ply for my own good.

A: Of course - I think any kind of work setting where people are going to be using the toilet should have 2-ply. What is the point of putting 1-ply. But the attachable bidet is the future man.

Q: Are you a wet wipe kind of guy or strictly 2 ply?

A: Yeah, well right now I’ve got the bidet. But for a long time before that, yeah, wet wipes were the key to success there.

Q: If you could fart anywhere in the world where would it be?

A: That’s a great question man. I wish more people would ask me that. I don’t have an answer but I think we are going to take Paul Flart on vacation. Going around well-known places and trying to rip em’.

Q: We will book you at Carnegie Hall/Lincoln Center.

A: Haha that would be something. I love it.

Q: What’s next for Paul Flart?

A: We’re not going to stop making content. Obviously it will have to be in different locations because I no longer work at the hospital, but that’s what everyone likes so I might as well keep that going. I actually just set up a Patreon with the hopes of being the first person to make a living off of farting.

Paul Flart Personal Tweet

Q: What does it feel like to be a sexual icon?

A: Sexual icon? Is that what I am now. I’ve definitely had people hit me up and say, “Show me your butt when you fart.” And that happened before I was famous. 300 followers...definitely some of them were asking to me for butt shots when I fart. In my opinion, asking to see a butt when someone farts is pretty tame relative to what you can find on the internet.

Q: Are you getting farts sent to you? Is give a fart, get a fart the next Tom’s Shoes model?

A: Oh my god. That’s the same concept. Even before I went famous people would send me their farts.

Q: Have you thought about the Flart Challenge?

A: I did that once. I did a fart contest way back when. I asked everyone to send me their farts and I’d go through them, pick the best one and I’d post the best one on my page.

Q: Would you do it again?

A: Yo, I don’t know how I would do that. The logistics of that scare me. 50,000 people sending me their farts? I don’t know.

Q: They should post it and #FlartChallenge.

A: Yeah, that’s the right idea.

Q: After all this was it worth it?

A: Getting fired...it’s done it’s over. I don’t hold any ill will toward the company. I don’t want to say it’s understandable, but I get it.

Q: Were you surprised?

A: No. I kind of had an Idea what it was going to be about. They held a Thursday mandatory meeting at 7:00am, and I was like “well, this is where they are going to get me.” So I pull up to work on Thursday and I was intercepted in the parking lot.

Q: Have you told your mom?

A: Yeah, of course. She hit me up after LAD bible came out. She was like “uhh people are sharing videos on Facebook and they are getting a lot of views.” And this was before I lost my job officially. She said I was going to lose my job, to which I responded “It’s going to be alright.”

There you have it. The inside scoop of a humble hero, the hero we need in this country.

With each documented toot, Flart empowers all of us who clench cheeks for modesty, who hold in farts for fear of ridicule or to appease an unaccepting society. Nobody should be relieved of their duties for rippin' a clean one, and Paul Flart is the commander in the fight against anti-flatulence.

Stay Weird and Flart On

Dylan Sorenson

Dylan spends his afternoons counting the leaves that flow down his local creek. While not spiritual for Dylan, it allows him to align all 3 of his nipples with his charging crystals, complimenting his silky smooth skin with smoother energy. As his crystals charge, you can find Dylan harnessing energy from the depths of Mustafar, where he was raised by wolves as a child. Dylan is a complex organism, having only 1 phytoplankton and few mitochondria, yet manages to function as a human adult. In fact, Dylan enjoys having eye sex with Mark Wahlberg on his free time. If Dylan had to describe himself in one word it would be “Animalistic In My Approach.”

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